I slept until 12:30, but got up feeling well enough to drink an orange juice.  Most of my day I frittered away aimlessly, and it wasn’t until around four o’clock that I left the hotel for the Jianguo Jade Market.  I’d seen some beautiful pieces at a store called “Rich Jade” located in the underground shopping center of the Sheraton hotel, right next to the fatal restaurant, but it had looked a little too rich for my blood and the attendant kept repeating “we specialize in jedi,” so I checked the internet for alternatives. 

The first thing I noticed was the heat.  The market is a large collection of stalls located underneath a freeway with nothing but fans and mist-sprayers to keep the atmosphere bearable.  Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera, but I think it would have gotten into my way.  I know nothing about jade, but I know whether I instinctively like or dislike a person, so that’s what guides my purchasing decisions.  I couldn’t find anything particularly wrong about the pieces I was shown at the first stand I stopped at, nor was I unimpressed by the vendor’s lightning-quick jewelry design drawing skills, but I took the opportunity to disappear when an Asian couple showed interest in a jade bracelet and distracted him.  I’m sure that the shopophobes among you will understand when I say I prefer shopping at a booth where the salesperson doesn’t speak English… 

I bought two mangoes on my way home and a dove bar with high cocoa content – the dove bar cost twice the price of the mangoes.  When I picked up my key at the reception, the receptionist took a peek at my purchase and handed me a sharp knife to peel the mangoes.  That’s excellent service – and the reason I shouldn’t ever operate in the service industry, because I hadn’t even thought of how I was going to peel the mangoes.  They tasted – oh, I’ll just advise any visitor to Taiwan to try the mangoes.  Juicy, messy, but unfortunately still fibrous.  The dove bar… I’d bought it because high cocoa chocolate has a constipative reputation, but after eating just a bite of it I had had enough.  Later on I would even move it away because I found the smell disgusting. 

At 8pm I made my way to the tailor’s, where I was to pick up my custom suit.  I realized on the way that (a) the mangoes were still inside me and (b) they weren’t enough, so I went to McDonald’s and had a fine meal of Chicken McNuggets and Coke.  I figured that if McDonald’s is bad for you, but failed to affect my gastrointestinal system, that would prove I had regained my health.  (So far, QED.)  I also learned some Chinese: Kungfu Panda is 功夫熊猫 – which literally translates to Artful Bearcat, or character-for-word achievement husband bear cat.  No wonder Eastern Mysticism has so many followers. 

I got my suit, and took a few pictures of the impressive display of name cards on his desk, including the only one I recognized (thanks to Dave Barry) – Tom Tancredo.  There was also the Governor of Tennessee and the Vice President of Nicaragua.  What are all these people doing in Taipei?  I’m here because of business – isn’t theirs to mind business at home? 

As I must too – so I will stop hunting for more links and give Janet a call instead.