Once in a blue moon Yahoo! news will have an article worth reading.  This one’s entitled “10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day,” and while I think this behavior shouldn’t be extraordinary, I do think there are good points in there.  Here’s the executive summary.

1. “Here’s what I’m thinking.”  Don’t command: suggest and engage.
2. “I was wrong.”  Admit mistakes.
3. “That was awesome.”  Make honest compliments.  They are a huge encouragement.
4. “You’re welcome.”  Accept thanks and praise gracefully.
5. “Can you help me?”  Four words to show respect and get something done.
6. “I’m sorry.”  A great way to make a fresh start.
7. “Can you show me?”  Four words to praise a person and learn something.
8. “Let me give you a hand.”  Offer specific help.
9. “I love you.”  Powerful stuff – use responsibly.
10. Nothing.  Say only what is helpful to the other person, not hurtful or thoughtless.

I disagree somewhat on the elaboration on number 6.  The author makes a good point: a fresh start is easiest to achieve if the person apologizing doesn’t explain his actions.  If the way forward doesn’t require the explanation, then I agree with the author.  Swallow your pride, your need to justify, and your apology will effect more.  But if the action that requires apology is a reaction to the other’s habitual destructive behavior, then at some point that topic needs to be broached.