Category Archives: unnecessary

Opening pitch

Most creative opening pitch I’ve ever seen.  Never in a thousand years would I have thought of this move, much less of attempting it.  And you know how an attempt would have ended…

Beach Tennis and other instant coolness

On the way to work, I came by a poster hawking beach tennis.  I imagined lots of aces, but wikipedia tells me I imagined wrong, and it’s more like beach volleyball with rackets.  Still, I had to marvel how adding the word “beach” to any staid sport will suddenly, magically make it cool.  In order to increase global coolness (my contribution in the fight against climate change), I hereby present a few sports that could stand an extreme beach makeover.

  • Beach Table Tennis – The player that’s faster retrieving balls gets +1 point, a point contested throughout the set
  • Beach Golf – Sand trap action in swimsuits!  A surefire revenue booster for the LPGA tour.
  • Beach Weightlifting – A sure win.  Spectators like injuries the way they like car wrecks.
  • Beach Skeet – In an event sponsored by Red Bull, the marksman is catapulted through the air and shoots ground targets.
  • Beach Curling – Lots and lots of broomwork!

Any ohers you’d add to the list?

Funk the Peanuts!

I bought these CDs for their covers, so posting the covers should let me get rid of the CDs just like I got rid of the Bojenmi tea slip.  Here they are – they are 8cm singles in a 16×8 case, scanned side by side.  The Funk the Peanuts member on the right is a well-known singer in her own right, the voice of Dreams Come True; the other seems to have made a career as a background singer for J-Pop bands.  Speed is, according to Wikipedia, the best-selling Asian girl group to date.  Success doesn’t always look pretty.

If you want to know what it sounds like to funk a peanut or go go heaven, let me know.  Soon, before the trash gets taken out.

Kites, cars, and generators

Once again, it’s time for a trifecta of trivia.

First, we have the lovely kite flying of Ray Bethell, the kind of kite flying I don’t even deserve to wish I could do, given how little effort I’ve put into flying kites in the course of my lifetime.

Second, an Arizona woman who clearly needs a civics refresher, particularly on how that electoral college works.  In frustration over Romney’s loss, she ran over her husband for not voting – even though Romney carried Arizona.  It’s not known if she drove a Civic in this incident.

Finally, we have four Nigerian teens who have developed a way to convert electricity and urine into hydrogen gas for a generator.  Though that sounds like a silly wannabe perpetuum mobile, its advantage would be to store energy from an unreliable source (wind, sun) in a pressurized container.  (The site is temporarily unavailable as I write, probably because several news platforms have linked to it.)


A Modern Once-ler

“You’re Glumping the pond where the Humming-Fish hummed!
No more can they hum, for their gills are all gummed.”

“Oh no!  OMG!  Mr. Lorax, I’m bummed!
I’m glad you have told me, for I do not wish
To cause the demise of these dear Humming-Fish.
So I’ll tweet a tweet from my satellite dish
To make sure my followers all are aware.
For, once they’re aware, I am sure they will care
And caring, aware, as a group we will dare
To start a petition, a fundraiser – sure,
A Kickstarter project, a race for the cure:
These sick fish are more than what I can endure!
And then, with the funding and grassroots support,
We’ll clean up the gills, and if that should fall short,
We’ll hire some experts, the scientist sort,
Who’ll work on a coating that we can apply
To Humming-Fish gills.  I am sure that will fly!
Those gills, they will auto-de-gloppetify!
Our problem is solved.  Boy, you gave me a fright!
I’ll buy an indulgence on eBay tonight,
If offers are there and the prices are right.
On Farmville I’ll plant a few truffula seeds
And tell all my friends they’re what everyone needs.
There.  Now can I get back to knitting my Thneeds?”